Naming a Baby

Having a baby is one of those special, wonderful times yada yada yada... Everyone has heard those lines piped up many times. But what people don't know, especially those who don't have any kids, is how incredibly stressful it is. First of all, there is the wife portion of the equation. She is the strong one who carries around the baby and has to deliver. But what about the dad? We have to go through the having to eat ice cream and junk food all the time out of sympathy (please note the deadpan there).

Then there is the colour scheme of the baby's room. Since we don't know what we are having, we had to pick a neutral colour. But then the discussions happens of what exact colour to make the room. Do we choose a brown? A yellow? If yellow, a lemon yellow? Canary yellow? There are hundreds of different names and shades for the simple colour of yellow!

BUT, the absolutely most stressful part about having a baby (especially when you don't know the sex) is naming the little monster. Even before Sylvia was pregnant with our second baby, we were talking about what kind of names we like. There are never any (or so few anyway) that two people can agree on. I can't imagine how people come to the decision to name the baby. No wonder in the old days everyone was junior or the third or something like that, because that was easy. No arguing whether the names Zelda and Zoltan go with Cameron. No arguing that Flavio sounds too much like a gay adult star's stage name (not that there is anything wrong with that. A person's sexual preference is no body's business but their own). No discussion that Dario sounds too much like Mario (another great choice) who reminds a person of a small, fat plumber who jumps on Koopa Troopa's and mushrooms. No conversation that Trent reminds some people of the river in Peterborough, and not of the great Trent Reznor (Nine Inch Nails for anyone who doesn't know). No thoughts that Oscar would make people sing the Oscar Meyer Wiener song.

And where do we, as parents, get the right to name the baby anyway? Olivia never asked to be an Olivia. Maybe she, when she grows up, decides that Ursula fits her personality much nicer. The audacity of parents to name a child. And what about poor Apple Martin, Dweezel and Moonbeam Zappa? What is wrong with these people! I know we want unique, but really. Or we can go on the other end of the spectrum and name our child the most popular name in the world; Mohammed (or the countless other ways of spelling that name). I am sure that Mohammed Cameron would go so nicely together. I saw four kids playing the other day and two of them were named Mohammed!

When it comes down to it, naming the baby is certainly the hardest thing. It has been at least 34 weeks now that we have been in discussion about the baby name, and we are only slightly closer than when we started.

Babies are a wonderful thing. We are lucky to be able to have one already, and then have another on the way, when there are so many people who aren't able to have children when they want them, so I can't really complain, because my ranting is really trivial.

Until next time

-d